I found them!!

I found the pictures of making home-made laundry detergent!! That means I'll finally be able to get that darned posting up on here. Only friends and family get the recipe for free, though. I'm going to make a run at trying to make a few bucks on my soap, having a decent amount of marketing experience in the past...

Love...What is it good for? (absolutely something)

Before I jump into my rant/topic for tonight, I have to give a quick life-update and shoutout:

It's technically my youngest daughter, Eva's birthday as I type this. 2 years ago today I was blessed for the 3rd time by seeing a piece of God's handiwork through procreation. (Eva, baby, that's daddy's way of saying I got to see you face-to-face and loved it)

I wish I could say that things have settled into some sort of rhythm with this whole SAHD thing, but nothing could be further from the truth. I still love it...well, I would love it if I could simply relax and focus on that being my job. Unfortunately, outside circumstance keep creeping into my life that take away that focus. Bills are due, with no money to pay them. Because of that, no one (except my wife) in my family will take the notion of me being a full-time student and staying home with the kids as a practical way of life.

I can't really blame them, I suppose. Perhaps it's because I haven't been putting my trust in God, where it should be full-time. I'll reach the point of 'almost-there-ness', only to have something pseudo-catastrophic come into our lives and I am reminded once again that the finances simply aren't working.

Money. Money isn't the root of all evil, contrary to popular belief. That saying is actually scripture from the Bible, but people often leave the first few words off. "For the LOVE of money is the root of all sorts of evil" is what it actually says and it's taken from 1 Timothy 6:10, located in the New Testament. The rest of the verse continues with, " It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs."

Ouch. Isn't that the truth? What's really interesting is if you were to ask your friends and family if they loved money, I'm certain the majority of them would respond in the negative. But they do. Read those same people that verse and see if they agree with it. Even if they don't 'believe', or 'have faith', they will. What folks (including me at times) don't realize, is the way love can be expressed.

But before you get into the area of how love is expressed, you must first define the term as it is used in common society. I have heard people use the word 'love' to describe everything from the person they plan on spending the rest of their lives with, to the newest song on the radio. Heck, I've even done that. So do I really feel the same way about a song as I do about my wife? Of course not (unless it's some old-school Controller 7). So why am I using the same word to describe that feeling?

I do it for the same reason we all do it: we've lost touch with what "Love" really means and even more tragically, how to express it. Sure, getting flowers for your wife every once in a while is a nice gesture, but it doesn't necessarily mean you love her. Well, at least not if we're using the biblical definition of "love". And just what is that definition is that, you ask? Let's look and see! (Wheeeeeee!!!)

Jesus taught that "Greater love has no man than to lay his life down for his friend." The Church, as well as secular society has twisted that into a masculine mandate that paints more a picture of saving your buddy from terrorists by jumping in front a bullet, than what Jesus was really trying to focus on...Your heart. To "lay down" your life for someone is, indeed, sacrificial. But it's not just in the life/death situations where it applies.

If that friend of yours, who you would take a slug for, asked you to help him move on Super Bowl Sunday (which is tomorrow, Go Giants!) would you do it? Probably. What if a month after the move, he lost his job and asked to move in with you? Would you let him? Would you be willing to put HIS (or her) needs in front of your own, in EVERY capacity? Can he wear your clothes? Can you take his calls at 2am to pick him up from the bar? Can you do all of that and more?

We've all done one or two of those things on occaision, sure. But making it a LIFESTYLE is a completely different story. The short answer to those questions is a resounding, "NO!" We simply aren't built that way.

There's a reason God's word teaches us that we must 'die to ourselves' and be 'born again' (in the spirit). Apart from the saving grace of Jesus Christ, who put the needs of YOU and ME in front of His own by suffering a humiliating and painful death, it simply cannot be done. When you surrender to His healing love and mercy and make Him Lord of your life, it is suddenly not of your own accord that you can do amazing things in the lives of others, but through power of His Holy Spirit.

E-mail me if you have any questions, as I'd love to share more with you. ;)























PS,

It's super late, and I didn't intend for this post to go on as long as it did, so I will have to edit it later on with the scriptural references in quotations towards the end.

Quick Update...

So I haven't been able to post nearly as often as I had intended. It seems like I had more time for things like blogging when I was working 50-60 hours a week. Who knew being unemployed carried such a full schedule?


Now, before you moms out there get all crazy, I realize that being a stay at home parent IS work. I'm finding out first-hand just how much work it really is.

I start school on Monday, which is something I haven't said in over 11 years. I wish I could say I was nervous, or was excited, or...or...something. Truth is I'm indifferent to the whole thing. I'm finishing my degree online, just like the commercials say. I doubt I'll be doing it in my pajamas like one particular cutie in an ad told me, but I shall do my best to enjoy the full experience of getting a college degree from the comfort of my home (and one hand in my pants, like Al Bundy)


I am working on a series of posts tentatively titled, "Lessons in Frugality". The plan is for these posts to focus primarily on little things to help save a buck here and there. For instance, I've started making our own liquid laundry soap (it totally rocks, btw) and I plan on doing some cost analysis for common household goods and the best places to buy them.

I do NOT, however, plan on becoming one of those coupon-nut jobs. I don't have the time for it, nor do I find the idea of sitting on 873 bottles of shampoo for the next millennium particularly appealing.


Nay, I just want to help the average Joe (or Jane) out there save a few bucks without sacrificing comfort. Or if my advice does change the comfort level, to what degree it does will be noted. (personal experience can, and will vary of course)

Tomorrow I'm off to get a new Springfield Armory 1911-A1 in a gun trade (my latest money-free obsession) so I'll be sure to throw some pics of it up soon. Until then, good morrow, sir! (or ma'am)

I think I'm too old for New Year's...

I believe it was T.S. Eliot who said the world would end, "...not with a bang, but with a whimper." That's kind of what ringing in 2012 felt like.

Normally, celebrating New Year's Eve has been something I look forward to. It's the one night a year where my wife and I pretend that we don't have children and can still party like we did 10 years ago. It's usually the morning after where we are reminded of our age. This year, it was the night of.

To start, our best friends had moved far away to Texas, so we were without our normal 'crew'. (I assume that's still a cool word to use in this type of application) So right off the bat, things were a bit outta whack. So we went to dinner with some back-up friends at a local restaurant that used to be one of the only fine dining establishments in our area. USED to be is the key word here.

To put it bluntly, Applebee's would have provided a more refined dining experience (see picture below for scientific data as to why Applebee's sucks). The steak was incredibly tough and overcooked (as always in my experience, since I prefer my beef to 'moo' at me) while the lobster was only visible to those with super powered microscopic vision. (that means it was small) The butter to dip the 'lobster' in was the only consistent food item on the plate. If Banquet frozen dinners had a steak and lobster option, I don't doubt it would be a tastier fare than this drivel.



*takes off food critic's hat*

The company was great, however. I could tell my wife was really enjoying some adult conversation with a woman her own age and my conversation partner was a friend of mine since 2nd grade, so we talked at length about the usual guy-stuff that comes up with old friends (women, beer, work; usually in that order)

During our dinner, I would look at a clock and remember that in years prior, I would be putting on my make-up, and getting dressed like a hussy, while getting my pre-game drink on. This normally resulted in memories such as this:



Something just didn't feel right sitting in a dimly lit restaurant, trying to enjoy some Sangria that tasted like it was poured from a can into a fancy glass carafe. I wasn't wearing mascara and getting my swerve on. Rather, I was trying to be cordial and well behaved, like Spencer Tracy or something.

Well, my friends, I am no Spencer Tracy. I like to SHOP at Spencer's, even though I know everything I buy there belongs in a dorm room from the 90's, and usually carries an expiration date to match.

Short story long, we tried to 'go out' after that, but it became clear that at 9:30pm, the night wasn't ready to begin, and we were ready for it to end already. So we trudged home, feeling a bit defeated.

Another couple came over to the house and stayed until late, but I just wasn't feeling it. No fireworks, sushi, debauchery, video games, guns, unabashed self-proclamations of greatness, nothing. I guess you could say this is all part of 'growing up', which is another reminder that growing up sucks. I wanna be a Toys 'R' Us kid forever. I finally get why Peter Pan wanted to fly around in tights all day and mess with a pedophile pirate. At least he didn't have to conform to anyone's notion of what an adult should be.

*takes off sociology professor's hat*

Oh well, hopefully next year will be better, and this Stella can get her groove back.




*note-this was the first image returned when I searched for 'stella gettin her groove back'...uh...I mean this is me and a picture I just took of myself...me. (it's for tha ladies)

Christmas minus Cash

This was the first Christmas since being a father that I didn't have a job. That pill was pretty dang big for my tiny little throat. It's not that I normally bought our kids a ton of stuff for the holiday, it's just this year we weren't able to buy almost anything.

I believe we spent under $100 for all 3. They still got plenty of presents, sure, but nothing like in years past. I'd like to say the c-note took care of them well because I had shopped so wisely, but that's not the case. I kept holding out longer and longer not buying anything, certain that some kind of miracle cash would show up at my doorstep.

BUT, that didn't happen. The snowmobiles I have been hoping would sell haven't. I'm sure that's due in large part to this area not having ANY FREAKING SNOW WHATSOEVER!!!! C'mon! Any other year in history and we'd have snow measurable in feet by now. It was nearly 60 degrees today, folks. IN LA PINE, OREGON. (do a google search for 'la pine, oregon winters if you need clarification).

Oh well, I guess this is all a part of learning to be a 'have-not', instead of a 'have'. Personally, I enjoyed more about the holiday in the sense of focusing on my savior, Jesus Christ and NOT being so distracted about who we bought what for. But I knew it wasn't going to be that easy on the kiddos. Although I had been dropping hints in the days prior to the big one, I knew they still didn't quite get the fact that this Christmas was going to be different...Surprisingly, they kept their attitudes in check very well. No typical small children remarks about the quantity or quality of presents and they were very appreciative, which was a nice surprise.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention what I had done for a few family members. Being completely broke, the only thing I could think of was some type of hand-made present. I completely suck in the art department and although I set up our sewing machine in the bedroom 2 weeks ago, I've yet to turn it on (let alone know how to use it)

So I settled on Photo albums, or simple photos in frames. I borrowed some frames from my mom, and used a few that we already had. I ended up making my wife a very cool, if not totally 2nd grade photo album from a blank one I found in storage. Since it was purple, I naturally assumed it was hers and she never got around to filling it (hence the "Re-Gifted" part of writing on the front of the album. I chose pictures from her youth, which was difficult for her, yet I know she holds dearly to. Sometimes painful memories are the only ones you have.

I then progressed through the pages like an autobiography, albeit a very brief one. This included pics of us at the age we met, our wedding, children, etc. It sounds a lot cooler than it turned out, in my opinion, but the desired effect was met: she liked it. At least she told me so and she's a totally honest woman.



The second part of her 'gift' didn't go so well. You see, in the days leading up to Christmas, she expressed her disappointment that it appeared there wouldn't be any snow falling on the special morning. Being the awesome husband that I am, I figured I'd give her that "White Christmas" she's always wanted. I procured a bag of fake snow from a 'friend' (thanks mom!)and waited until she was asleep to spread it around the living room. In the darkened area, it actually had a pretty neat effect. But I made 2 mistakes:

1.) We lost power on Christmas Eve from about 10pm to 2am, during which we were wrapping presents and talking via candle light. This meant that I wasn't able to finish her photo album until after 100am (thanks, stupid markers that took forever to dry) and make it snow until about 330am. I then cranked out the photo frames for my sister and nephew, and crawled into bed, exhausted at 545. I NEVER had to stay up that late when I would just buy everyone gifts, even when it was things like a 4 billion piece play-kitchen for my daughter.

2.) The second mistake was that I chose to write on the mirror in our bathroom the following message, "Hey Honey, I did my best to give you the only white christmas around. Love you, K" followed with a post-script (that's what PS at the bottom of a letter means, for you simpletons out there) that read, "ps, Don't worry, I'll clean it up!"

Awww, right? I played out this fancy scenario in my head how she'd wake up, follow the little trail of snow flakes from the bedroom to the living room, and see this amazing winter wonderland and just start screaming with excitement, or have tears well up in her eyes like in those 'Diamonds are Forever' commercials. Well...not exactly.

She woke up justifiably tired and assumed the dogs got into something under the tree, and got upset. It took her a minute to realize what really happened, and settled down a little bit. I was in the bathroom the whole time, hoping for a completely different reaction. She didn't even notice the message in the bathroom until way later in the morning. I could have totally found the time to erase the 'PS' part and we could have cleaned together. 2 STINKING HOURS TO CLEAN UP ONE TINY LITTLE BAG OF FAKE, PLASTIC SNOW!!!

First picture does the scene no justice, as the flash just makes everything look harsh, like a Yeti with dandruff came to pay us a visit.


The second picture isn't really any better, at least from a details standpoint, although the 'mood' comes across a little better. Our camera sucked. I say 'sucked' in the past-tense because about an hour after everyone woke up, my wife decided to dunk our camera in a cup of coffee for some reason, and now it's dead. (Oh, I shocked the you-know-what out of myself trying to 'fix' it last night, bad idea)



Never again. I'm just going to throw her outside and dump a bag of shaved ice on her next year if it doesn't snow.

j/k, I love you honey!

So, how was YOUR Christmas?

And now, the rest of the story...

I will always remember the words used in the title of this post because of multiple fond memories of my father and I driving out to go hunting together while listening to Paul Harvey years ago. Now we listen to books on CD, because there is seldom anything good on the radio and Paul Harvey is a damn liar for endorsing Bose. Ugh.

Anyways, so after the short night of sleep, I woke with a new purpose. Prior even to my study the night before, I talked with Ash about her feelings on me staying at home with the kids and her jumping right into a full-time gig. Her response was enthusiastic, which in turn, got me very into the idea. There was really only one more hurdle to overcome...telling my parents.

Surprisingly, it didn't go too bad. My father, who is from a different generation entirely, had his usual quiet, reserved response as he took time to process this information. I'm sure in time he will have a peace about it, but as he told my mom when she had asked him in private his feelings on the subject, "I guess I'm just old fashioned".

You see, that is what I've come to realize the real 'problem' is with people's views on this very touchy subject. It's mostly (if not all) a social issue. Preconceived notions will always prevail in a discussion of matters similar to this. Heck, even 2 days ago I would have 'fought for the other side' if such a thing actually existed.

Bottom line is, I don't truly know what the Lord has in store for our future. What I do know, is that I've made a real mess of things over the years and I pray it's not too late to correct some of those mistakes. I simply can't think of a better way to do that than to be involved in every aspect of the home.

Should you be stranger, traversing the internets and stumble across this or any of my other postings, let me know your feelings on the subject. I will happily send you my findings in the word regarding this.

I will touch on more serious subject matter in later postings, but I truly felt I needed to get these thoughts out before taking things in a more...positive direction, I suppose. Pictures coming soon and tomorrow I'll put up some instructions on how to make your own laundry soap, which is TOTALLY rad, and costs like 2% of storebought detergent. Hey, if I can do it, I know you can.

Good night!!

Well, isn't this interesting...

You know, when I created this blog initially, a couple of months ago, I was under the impression that it would be a very brief (a week or two) experience, since I consider myself highly employable, as does everyone I know.

To be perfectly honest, I never came back here to write another posting because I was certain of this fact. How could someone with my experience and credentials not find work, even in this poor economy?

Very slowly, as it became very apparent that local, full-time work was simply not in the cards, I felt a desire to try and find something that would allow me to earn a good wage from home. A 2 second Google search will tell you that I'm not alone in my desire. It's VERY difficult to find a job in this arena with no degree or experience, regardless of a very impressive resume.

Now I must preface the following information with this: I was raised in a very traditional household, with very traditional values in a very conservative church. What I mean by that is I have always held the opinion that the man of the family is responsible for being the primary breadwinner, while the wife stays at home and tends to the matters of the house. There really never was another option. I was also of the belief that this is what the Bible teaches, as well. Funny how things work out.

You see, two days ago, I met with an elder from my church to discuss the situation I have put my family in. (more on that in the next post) After explaining to him that in order for us to break even on me working (after paying childcare, commuting costs, etc) I had to find a job that paid $15/hour, at a minimum. Normally this wouldn't be an issue. My last employer paid me a very fair salary that was nearly twice that. I haven't had to work for that small of an amount in over a decade, so I figured it shouldn't be a problem. As you well know now, that's not the case.

Interestingly enough, after talking about these issues, and more, it was he who asked me this question, "Have you considered making staying at home with the kids and tending to the home your job?"

The question felt like a punch to the gut. I mean, I had considered it, albeit briefly. It was more like a passing notion than a feasible option. The man is supposed to earn the income and provide for the family, right?

I was speechless. Those who know me will tell you this is a very rare condition for me, one that usually indicates serious contemplation on my part. Hey, I'm a talker, deal with it. ;)

So after a brief silence, I stammered out some objections, as I figured clearly he would know that it's just simply NOT the way things work. He met my biblical objections with another gut punching question, "Where in the bible are you finding these scriptures that forbid it?"

Another silence.

I had no idea, to be honest. It was so ingrained in me, that I never even bothered to do my research. Well, I did that night, for sure. I poured through the scriptures, looking for any kind of passage that would support my claims of that becoming a stay at home dad was un-biblical. I wrestled with God that night, though I know that's never a good idea. I finally tapped out at 3am, surrendering myself to the notion this could actually be His will for me.

Once I came to peace with the knowledge of it not being a sin to let the wife earn the income, I felt comfort and peace the likes of which I haven't had in years. I slept like a baby...

(to be continued)