Christmas minus Cash

This was the first Christmas since being a father that I didn't have a job. That pill was pretty dang big for my tiny little throat. It's not that I normally bought our kids a ton of stuff for the holiday, it's just this year we weren't able to buy almost anything.

I believe we spent under $100 for all 3. They still got plenty of presents, sure, but nothing like in years past. I'd like to say the c-note took care of them well because I had shopped so wisely, but that's not the case. I kept holding out longer and longer not buying anything, certain that some kind of miracle cash would show up at my doorstep.

BUT, that didn't happen. The snowmobiles I have been hoping would sell haven't. I'm sure that's due in large part to this area not having ANY FREAKING SNOW WHATSOEVER!!!! C'mon! Any other year in history and we'd have snow measurable in feet by now. It was nearly 60 degrees today, folks. IN LA PINE, OREGON. (do a google search for 'la pine, oregon winters if you need clarification).

Oh well, I guess this is all a part of learning to be a 'have-not', instead of a 'have'. Personally, I enjoyed more about the holiday in the sense of focusing on my savior, Jesus Christ and NOT being so distracted about who we bought what for. But I knew it wasn't going to be that easy on the kiddos. Although I had been dropping hints in the days prior to the big one, I knew they still didn't quite get the fact that this Christmas was going to be different...Surprisingly, they kept their attitudes in check very well. No typical small children remarks about the quantity or quality of presents and they were very appreciative, which was a nice surprise.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention what I had done for a few family members. Being completely broke, the only thing I could think of was some type of hand-made present. I completely suck in the art department and although I set up our sewing machine in the bedroom 2 weeks ago, I've yet to turn it on (let alone know how to use it)

So I settled on Photo albums, or simple photos in frames. I borrowed some frames from my mom, and used a few that we already had. I ended up making my wife a very cool, if not totally 2nd grade photo album from a blank one I found in storage. Since it was purple, I naturally assumed it was hers and she never got around to filling it (hence the "Re-Gifted" part of writing on the front of the album. I chose pictures from her youth, which was difficult for her, yet I know she holds dearly to. Sometimes painful memories are the only ones you have.

I then progressed through the pages like an autobiography, albeit a very brief one. This included pics of us at the age we met, our wedding, children, etc. It sounds a lot cooler than it turned out, in my opinion, but the desired effect was met: she liked it. At least she told me so and she's a totally honest woman.



The second part of her 'gift' didn't go so well. You see, in the days leading up to Christmas, she expressed her disappointment that it appeared there wouldn't be any snow falling on the special morning. Being the awesome husband that I am, I figured I'd give her that "White Christmas" she's always wanted. I procured a bag of fake snow from a 'friend' (thanks mom!)and waited until she was asleep to spread it around the living room. In the darkened area, it actually had a pretty neat effect. But I made 2 mistakes:

1.) We lost power on Christmas Eve from about 10pm to 2am, during which we were wrapping presents and talking via candle light. This meant that I wasn't able to finish her photo album until after 100am (thanks, stupid markers that took forever to dry) and make it snow until about 330am. I then cranked out the photo frames for my sister and nephew, and crawled into bed, exhausted at 545. I NEVER had to stay up that late when I would just buy everyone gifts, even when it was things like a 4 billion piece play-kitchen for my daughter.

2.) The second mistake was that I chose to write on the mirror in our bathroom the following message, "Hey Honey, I did my best to give you the only white christmas around. Love you, K" followed with a post-script (that's what PS at the bottom of a letter means, for you simpletons out there) that read, "ps, Don't worry, I'll clean it up!"

Awww, right? I played out this fancy scenario in my head how she'd wake up, follow the little trail of snow flakes from the bedroom to the living room, and see this amazing winter wonderland and just start screaming with excitement, or have tears well up in her eyes like in those 'Diamonds are Forever' commercials. Well...not exactly.

She woke up justifiably tired and assumed the dogs got into something under the tree, and got upset. It took her a minute to realize what really happened, and settled down a little bit. I was in the bathroom the whole time, hoping for a completely different reaction. She didn't even notice the message in the bathroom until way later in the morning. I could have totally found the time to erase the 'PS' part and we could have cleaned together. 2 STINKING HOURS TO CLEAN UP ONE TINY LITTLE BAG OF FAKE, PLASTIC SNOW!!!

First picture does the scene no justice, as the flash just makes everything look harsh, like a Yeti with dandruff came to pay us a visit.


The second picture isn't really any better, at least from a details standpoint, although the 'mood' comes across a little better. Our camera sucked. I say 'sucked' in the past-tense because about an hour after everyone woke up, my wife decided to dunk our camera in a cup of coffee for some reason, and now it's dead. (Oh, I shocked the you-know-what out of myself trying to 'fix' it last night, bad idea)



Never again. I'm just going to throw her outside and dump a bag of shaved ice on her next year if it doesn't snow.

j/k, I love you honey!

So, how was YOUR Christmas?